Technology invades the poker room
By Johnny Coldeck

Tech-Boy Tim (TBT) is one of the most frustrating members of our little poker-playing community. Not that he’s a bad kid; he’s usually very likeable. It’s just that, “Hang on, let me answer this text … okay, anyway, what were we talking about? Oh, my turn? I raise!” gets a little old. Eye contact is out of the question for TBT; he has way too many things vying for his attention to be bothered with the conversation of the players around this little poker table. Tech-Boy Tim can never understand that we don’t care if he got a really funny online video that he has to check out before he can make a decision. We are all sure that his cyber-life is more interesting than this game of poker. We know that he has important communication with someone somewhere, and that someone is far more important than we are.

Another newer addition to the poker community is Bluetooth Bob (BTB). Although Bluetooth Bob is similar to TBT, he is usually older and seems even more important. A typical BTB will have the cybernetic attachment in his ear, of course, but is also sporting not one, but two quick-draw phone holsters, a radio and a pager. BTB is often seen away from the poker table pacing back and forth while having an extremely urgent conversation with … well, maybe with no one, but it seems really earth-shattering. Fortunately, when you do finally get his attention, BTB usually gives the moment his all, and you discover that he is either an expert on any subject, or has a good friend who is.

It was most useful to discover that most of these important conversations and vital text messages are simply from other poker players sitting around other “boring” poker tables in other locales.

News in today’s poker world no longer travels at the speed of rumor. (Bad news travels even faster than rumor, but no one ever seems to want it when it arrives, so it just ends up sitting there. The result is that it ends up slower than the speed of rumor, which poker players receive with glee anytime. The whole thing is really odd, since rumor is simply bad news that they know is about someone else.). In today’s poker community, the bad beat stories make it to a local cardroom manager in real time, or as close to real time as texting fingers and the Internet can transmit, which is usually faster than the decisions are made at the table. The result? By the time a hapless player calls the local cardroom manager or dealer to tell his tale of woe, Tech-Boy Tim has sent three text-messages, run the hand analysis on two different websites, twittered it and posted it to his blog. Shortly after that, but still before the victim calls, Bluetooth Bob called to discuss the matter at length and get an opinion, which could be discussed intelligently, since TBT already did the research. The bad beat story from the player who was actually involved in the hand is kind of redundant.

Meanwhile, the news around the cardroom this month is the performance of our local poker players at the WSOP. While we can monitor the progress of our local champions on the official websites with the hand-by-hand coverage posted regularly, we turn up our noses and scoff at such primitive means. We sent a TBT and two BTBs to the events. When one of our players called to report a crippling hand, I was able to say something along the lines of, “Yeah, that guy in seat three made a really bad call, but you had to know he was going to do it! He hadn’t folded to a raise in four rounds of the button.” So, while old-school poker professionals lament the loss of magic and mystery in the game of poker, I console myself with the thought that it makes me look like a clairvoyant genius in all matters poker!